conspiracy theory

I think the coffee companies and the toothpaste companies are in it together.

Starbucks on every corner => coffee addiction
coffee addiction => stained teeth
stained teeth + Americans' obsession with appearance => need for whitening products.

I say this because it's been a coffee-dependent week. Usually I'm not a caffeine junkie, but for some reason for the past week all I've wanted to do is sleep, and there has been so much to accomplish.

Normal coffee consumption = 2 bags a semester, maybe
This week's coffee consumption = 1/2 bag since Wednesday.

And the worst part is that my teeth cannot be whitened. They are composite veneers, not my real teeth on the surface. I can't even use whitening toothpaste. Except ALL the toothpaste says "whitening" on it, because of our demand for white teeth. So I just go for the non-scratchy stuff. This month's flavor for me: "Kiss Me Mint." It's pink. And the name makes me laugh.

In other news, life's good.

Today I had piano repertoire class. I was very nervous about it, because Professor Austin wanted me to play. I said I would, and then there wasn't enough time for everyone to play, so I had an easy way out. I did not take it, though. I practiced hard last week and I need to get over my insecurity and learn to play for people. So I volunteered and I played. And I did well. It was not a perfect performance but it was good enough. Everyone was surprised; I could tell. Not that they were expecting me to do poorly, just that they had no idea who I was, what I was doing there, and how well I played. The professor even complimented me.

So...yay for earning the respect of my peers. And for gaining some confidence for myself. And for proving to myself that I can be disciplined enough to practice consistently and make progress on things. Piano is unlike all other things that I have tried in recent years. In math or computer science or anything else, you do something once and you're finished. Piano is different. It requires consistency, practice, maintenance, discipline--things I pretty much suck at most of the time. Piano lessons has shown me this weakness. I think it's getting better though. I'm working at it.

I got to see Emily this weekend. I forgot how much I miss her. I miss people like her and PJ and Kaci who see right through me and understand me completely most of the time. Oh, instability.

I also miss having a church family. I thought I had found the church to commit to for the rest of college, and then the pastor disappeared randomly. No explanation from anyone. He's teaching through Ezekiel for three months, and then all of the sudden he's nowhere to be found for the past month and no one has explained why. I have no idea what's going on, but that's not a good sign.

Enough of this. There's work to be done.