i need to use my blog more.

I'm learning a whole lot right now and I should be writing about it but I am so overwhelmed with work right now :( In the next two weeks I have the following things to do:

- submit NSF Graduate Research Fellowship application (personal statement, research plan, previous research statement)

- study for and take computer science GRE

- network processing test

- software engineering test

- 431 programming assignment

- mentoring plans for five people

- event reports for about 50 hours worth of stuff 

- plan Girl Scouts event

- software engineering project specifications due

- volunteer time at Adult Day Care Center

- memorize piano piece

- play in piano repertoire class

So...I'm doing okay so far, except that I'm so stressed out that I can barely bring myself to eat :P It's okay though, I keep making myself eat little things. I've also started running in the mornings again and that makes me feel better. I'm also trying to get back to going to bed at 12 and getting up at 7 or 7:30. I can work better this way. I've also scheduled out my week and am trying to stick to it so that I get everything done in time.

More than anything right now I appreciate the supportive people around me. I have awesome family, friends, and professors, and I plan on writing a whole bunch of thank you notes very soon to everyone who's helped me so much this semester. I know that a lot of them don't realize how much they mean to me and I need to be sure to communicate that. It's like the world has bent around me in so many ways this semester; I ask for things and they're done. I don't deserve the kindness others show me. I am so thankful to God for letting all these people be a part of my life.

I also need to apologize to a lot of people...and probably to the same people I'll be thanking. I get so focused in on the things that I need to be doing that I forget to care about others, and the people I am closest to get the worst of that. They hear all my whining and have to deal with me when I'm difficult to work with and don't get much in return for it. I want to be a better student/friend/family member/church member/Christ follower/servant...okay, a better person overall. I need better balance. I'm working on it and getting better but I'm not there yet.

I'm truly thankful and truly repentant. I'm changing for the better. You'll hear about it as I have time to blog. In the meantime, thanks so much to all of you who have been there and put up with my stupidity. I love you all.

Mk. Back to class. Hope all is going well for you :)

miscellania

Today I spoke at Nations Ford High School career day to a bunch of freshmen about careers in computing. I talked about misconceptions about computing and about how diverse people and careers in computing are. I think it went really well, and it was a lot of fun presenting to the groups.

My favorite question asked today: "So do you party?" (My response: "Well, I have a lot of fun, but I mostly study really hard.")

List of careers that don't involve computing composed today: Child Watch at the Gold Hill YMCA (but not the Fort Mill one), being a hairstylist if you only take cash and don't put the money in a bank, a lemonade stand if you pick the lemons yourself, make your own sugar out of sugar cane, build the table out of sticks you gather in your yard, and paint the sign using berries.

High school students are great. We also made a connection with a programming teacher there at NFHS who said he would have me out to speak for his class soon. That'll be cool.

Other than that, it's just been a busy week. I spent a lot of time with my family on Monday night; my grandma had everyone down for dinner. It was a good time, and really rare, actually, since everyone was there. I had to say goodbye to Victoria, which made me sad, but that's okay. She'll be back for Thanksgiving and maybe I'll go see her one weekend too (although there is no space in my calendar for that). 

I'm watching the presidential debate. Hmm. I have no idea who I will vote for. 

Mk, I really have nothing useful to say, mostly just procrastinating from this work. I'll start working now. I have piano tomorrow morning and then it is finallyyy fall break! I'll be working on things all day tomorrow. It'll be good.

fall break?

No, of course not. I don't really get fall break this year. My days off will be spent writing pages and pages convincing people to accept me into their schools/give me money to go to school/give me a good grade on this assignment.

I am at home this weekend, though. My middle sister is home from college for her fall break so I came too to come see everyone. It's been good. I actually slept last night, and there's good food to eat here. Plus, I love my family a lot and I'm glad I'm getting to spend a little bit of time with them.

It's been a rough semester. I am exhausted. The schoolwork doesn't end and on top of that there's graduate school applications, fellowship applications, ACM stuff, and SLC stuff. I may have signed up for too much this semester. I wasn't counting on my grad school apps taking this much time and energy. 

On a happier note, it's beautiful outside! Next Monday Sarah, Sarah, Lea, and I are going to Crowder's Mountain, and I'm pretty excited about that. I love the fall. Now that my laptop has battery life, maybe I can take it outside sometime while I'm working through all these applications.

So the GRE went well. I was delighted with my scores. I sent the scores to Clemson, Virginia Tech, Brown, and MIT. I don't know that I'll complete applications for all of those but I aim to. So far, half the Clemson personal statement is written, and that's it. Still working through the rest of the personal statements.

I'm applying for somewhere between 1 and 5 fellowships. The biggest one is the NSF Graduate Research Fellowship. It is a monstrous application. I've completed a pretty close draft of the personal statement of that one, almost a full draft of my previous research statement, and have started thinking about my research plan. The other applications are less intense, and I can kind of bend the GRF materials to fit them, so that's what I'm planning on doing. (They also have later deadlines!) Anyhow, the fellowship list is: GRF, NDSEG, Anita Borg, NSSE, and...DOE? I can't remember. I have a list somewhere.

I'm taking the computer science GRE subject test on November 8. I need to begin studying for that. It's a really difficult test. At least several friends are taking it with me. We can study together.

Classes are good. I barely think about them since I'm so buried in all else, but I'm getting the work done and doing okay in all of them. I can't complain. I work really hard but I have a lot of fun too. 

Here are the things I am looking forward to in life right now:

- the Halloween party Samantha and I are hosting

- going to Crowder's Mountain

- getting the bridesmaid dress for Sarah's wedding

- being done with all these applications

- getting enough sleep at night

- going to see my sister in Charleston one weekend

- getting my ESV study Bible in the mail this week

- Chad's musical theater thing on Tuesday

so yay. I won't die.

Hmm...what else...

Guess that's about it. Nothing outstanding or insightful, just getting through things right now!

I hope you all are doing well :)

october really?

nononono it can't be.

that means there is just barely a month for me to finish this fellowship application.

Apparently things are getting darker outside; I was wondering why I was waking up later and felt like days were shorter. Right...that's because they are. It took Mom saying something on the phone for me to remember about that even happening every year.

The weather's getting colder; it's nice and cool out during the nights. Cold, even. Supposed to get down to the 40s tonight, I hear.

I adore the fall. Hopefully I'll be able to finish these applications so I can spend some time outside one day.