The past couple years I have not given up anything for Lent. I have a complicated relationship with food in general and giving up any form of junk food leads to me to think more about being skinnier than pursuing Christ, and not eating any type of normal food hampers my athletic training. There's no habits I have that are particularly troublesome or that take away time from spending with God, it's just a lack of discipline in general that gets in the way. Still, I think about it every year.

This morning I was sitting in statistics class with Toni. I had overslept and was still tired and was holding a cup of coffee when I realized that the coffee was something that I depended on instead of Christ. I am not coffee obsessed or caffeine addicted but when I am tired, I think, "A cup of coffee will fix this." And I look forward to my coffee every day. I think about what kind I will brew and when I will drink it. I enjoy how it tastes and smells and its warmth. I am a grad student. This is my fuel.

I think more about coffee during my work day than I do Christ.

How tragic.

And that is why I will not be drinking it during Lent this year. I cannot tell you how much I do not want to give it up. I really want my cup of coffee tomorrow afternoon. If I would have realized that this is what I was going to do, I would have been drinking three cups of coffee a day for the past week, but it just occurred to me this morning. If it were not near midnight I would brew a cup of coffee now and drink it. I will miss it. (Disclaimer: when I go home for spring break, it is tradition for Dad, Victoria, and me to enjoy coffee together, and I will do that because that is not as much of a dependency thing as a family tradition.)

Every time I think about coffee, the most trivial of things, during this Lenten season I will seek to set my mind on Christ, the most significant of things, in my moments of boredom, tiredness, and weakness. May he be honored and adored by this small sacrifice, and may I find joy, satisfaction, and focus as I turn towards him to meet all of my needs.