Over a month into summer and I haven't accomplished much, but that's okay. It's not like there are impending deadlines right now, which is nice, for the first time in four years or so.

Mostly I just sit around and do nothing at home. I go to the Y almost every day and work out. I've been playing some in Second Life, learning Linden Script and how it works in general, since I'll have to figure all that out in the fall anyhow. I was kind of ambitious and downloaded about 10 scientific papers that I was going to read and make notes on, hoping to prepare for the fall too, but so far I've gotten halfway through one, hit the term "emotional octopus", and not started reading again. Typically over the summer I devour books, but this summer a stack sits at my bed and I mostly just stare at them apathetically, occasionally flipping through a few pages and then deciding shortly after that it's probably not worth the effort.

I just feel apathetic. It's not really that I don't care about things, but that it seems like there's not a point in caring. This summer feels like waiting for something to happen while completely lacking the power to actually make anything happen. Waiting for an apartment to work out for next semester, waiting to figure out all the things I need to buy to live there, waiting for school to begin so that they'll pay me the money that I need to buy these things. Waiting until my family vacations to Alaska. Waiting to see if distance is going to work out between Patrick and me. Waiting for friends to call back, or for opportunity to do anything, really. Most of the time I would tell myself to get over it and do something about all this myself, but I think this past academic year kind of wore me out and I don't feel like making the effort for anything at the moment.

At least I have the Y. Though I'm a little lazy and it's a battle to get there some days, I do enjoy what I do there because I can measure myself making progress--reps and sets complete, calories burned, weight lifted, miles run. It's nice to see numerical progress. Maybe I can trick myself into doing something progressive by counting pages read, books completed, or lines of code written. I don't know; we'll see. I'm just saying, I can't sit here and do nothing from now until August.

Besides the apathy, though, things are good. I am enjoying the time off and am glad that I can spend my time catching up with friends and family and overall just taking care of myself. Lots of heavy decisions and transitions are coming, but for now it's mostly smooth sailing.

All right, enough writing. Maybe I'll straighten up my room and finally delve into one of these books for real.